＂Mental health＂ always doubts itself and criticizes itself for not doing well enough. What should I do？
We all have one.internalThe voice.
You know what I mean:We all have an inner voice, and, son, it likes to talk.Now, if you imagine this voice as a single person and follow you and talk to you all day, what will it say?
If you are like most people, it will bring a variety of content. This voice judges the present, predicts the future and examines the past. It evaluates others and the surrounding environment.
But it also has a talent to enlarge inward and make itself the focus. When it appears, what method will it adopt? It may be a celebration, giving due praise, soothing, encouraging, tolerant, understanding or inspiring; But it can also be critical, negative and hurtful, even heartless.
What is especially irresistible about self-criticism is that it can be disguised as reality. A new idea of self-attack does seem to be a painful reflection of the facts, but it is far more convincing than an idea that obviously does not reflect the true nature of things.
So in this article, let’s take a look at this kind of self-criticism voice and try to clarify its form, its function, its possible consequences, and whether there are other ways to talk to ourselves.
01.
What is the internal criticism like?
Scientific evidence shows that there is not only one form of internal criticism. Scholars call one of these types."insufficient self". When you encounter obstacles, make mistakes, or fail to achieve your goals, this internal criticism will severely reprimand you and may arouse your memories of other mistakes and wrong steps; You feel incompetent, flawed and poor.
Another kind of self-criticism is"annoying self". When you fail in life, this inner voice will respond to you with hatred and disgust; You don’t like yourself at all. In other words, the "insufficient self" will severely criticize you for doing something wrong and tell you that you are not up to standard, while the "annoying self" will insult you and despise you.
Now you may think, "Wait a minute, what if an inner voice points out a mistake but doesn’t treat it mercilessly?" This is a reasonable question, so let’s make it clear. We all make mistakes, because we are all human beings, and it is beneficial to have an inner voice to make us realize these mistakes and figure out what happened. It helps us change our direction and do something different.
Some scholars call it "constructive self-criticism". As far as the purpose of this article is concerned, the internal criticism we are really talking about is how it treats us besides emphasizing the room for improvement. Will it hate and laugh at us? Is it warning us to pester us with past mistakes, or telling us that we are unqualified? This is the category of internal criticism that we are exploring.
But first, why did it appear?
02.
What is the role of internal criticism?
The research on how people view self-criticism reveals two main functions.
firstSome people regard internal criticism as a way to help them grow and become better. For example, people may criticize themselves, try to avoid mistakes, continue to abide by their own standards of behavior, prevent themselves from being careless or conceited, prove that their mistakes are important, or remind themselves of their obligations.
secondSome people think that internal criticism is a way of abusing themselves. For example, people can retaliate against some aspects of themselves through self-criticism, control their antipathy to themselves, erase or hurt part of themselves emotionally, or punish themselves through emotional abuse to relieve their inner pain.
But no matter what kind of internal criticism we are talking about, or what effect it has, if you criticize yourself severely, you are not alone. This is not your fault, even if the internal criticism tells you it is.
As scholars in this field have pointed out, self-criticism developed in a certain background, no matter in childhood or later adulthood, and it will appear in many different situations.
Let’s give an example to further illustrate this point. Imagine a person growing up with a strict and punishing caregiver. As children, they have no right, so they can’t ask their caregivers to stop treating them like this. But by examining themselves and criticizing themselves, this may give them a possible way to avoid being scolded and punished in the future.
After considering the background of internal criticism, let’s look at the possible consequences of self-criticism.
03.
What is the impact of internal criticism?
More and more studies have pointed out the connection between internal criticism and a series of difficulties. For example, two types of self-criticism (namely "inadequate self" and "annoying self") are related to depression.
In this case, those who are or have been struggling with depression criticize themselves more than those who have never suffered from depression. When people insult themselves less, it indicates that their depression will decline.
Internal criticism is also related to tension and anxiety, as well as overeating, self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, and unhealthy relationships with partners. A long-term follow-up study shows that people who criticize themselves at the age of 12 also have a low level of investment in high school. By the age of 31, they have not received so many years of school education, and they are more likely to have emotional and social problems.
So, on the whole, although harsh or ruthless self-criticism may seem convincing and effective, internal criticism seems to take away much more than it can provide. Considering this, what can be used instead of internal criticism?
04.
Besides internal criticism, what choice is there?
If you are eager to change the way you treat yourself, I hope you can give yourself a little confidence. Change can make people feel fear and panic, so it is a brave step to realize your desire to be better.
Remember, your awareness of alternative ways to talk to yourself doesn’t mean that making some changes will be simple and effortless, although it should be. So whatever you choose, try to be patient with yourself.
With this in mind, here are some suggestions:
Give yourself peace of mind. This way of talking to yourself includes pointing out what you appreciate, encouraging yourself to talk to yourself in a way that encourages morale and is considerate, caring and kind. Such self-treatment is associated with a lower degree of depression.
practiseSelf-sympathy.
Self-compassion has three parts.
The first is self-kindness.When we are kind to ourselves, we extend gentleness, thoughtfulness and empathy to our hearts.
The second is universal humanity.If we take advantage of this self-sympathy, we will comfort ourselves, because we are human beings like others, and we are not the only ones who make mistakes, go through difficult times or have shortcomings. Knowing that others are going through similar struggles can give us some comfort.
The third part is mindfulness.It includes acknowledging our internal experiences, rather than trying to get rid of them or being completely absorbed by them. Researchers have studied the influence of self-compassion on self-criticism through various methods, such as sympathy meditation, self-compassion exercises, and sympathy mental training, an aspect of sympathy-centered therapy, which helps people cultivate greater sympathy for themselves.
Studies have shown that self-sympathy can reduce self-criticism and is related to the alleviation of depression. A preliminary study shows that the method based on sympathy can reduce critical self-dialogue, improve self-worth, improve mood and improve the ability to deal with daily life affairs. There is even evidence that self-sympathy can improve the creativity of those who are hard on themselves.
Reduce the power of self-criticism. Let’s go back to the point mentioned at the beginning of this article. Self-criticism seems to reflect the facts, which makes it very convincing. But what if these self-critical ideas are not based on reality? What if they are just sentences floating in your mind, even though they are painful sentences?
When a person regards their self-critical beliefs as mere ideas and realizes that these ideas are not necessarily true, they fall into a kind of situation called "self-criticism"."dissociation"The state of. This method can help people distinguish their own ideas from reality and reduce the power of these ideas. When we know that thoughts can’t reflect anything real, they don’t have that much power.
In one study, people who practiced "dissociation" were less self-critical and less depressed.
When you practice a new way to treat yourself, maybe you will try some of the alternatives we discuss here, or you will choose a completely different way. As long as you pay attention to what is right for you, and have something for yourself in the process.Patience is the most important thing. Listen to your heart, allow yourself to use different resources, and then see which one suits you best.
For example, you may decide to ask a personal therapist for help, or join a treatment group, or you may choose to take a meditation course that includes self-compassion. Or you can choose to consult related self-help books, or consult related articles online and download reading materials and exercises. You can also try a combination of these methods. No matter what you do, I hope you have compassion, empathy and tenderness for yourself.
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