"I’m only a junior, so you let me go on a blind date?" Zhou Hong, a 20-year-old female college student in Nanning, Guangxi, was "devastated" when "Mother’s Adult" mentioned at the dinner table that she would arrange her colleague’s "well-qualified" son to meet her.
Blind date, a hot word nowadays, is no longer exclusive to older men and women. More and more young female college students like Zhou Hong are also involved in the blind date market early with the help of their parents. Looking back suddenly, they have been in an era of younger dating.
Female college students encounter their mother’s "fancy blind date"
Zhao Qianqian, a 21-year-old Anhui native, will enter the senior year after this summer vacation. She just broke up with her boyfriend recently. I didn’t expect her mother’s "blind date radar" to reach the sensitivity level of 10, and she began to give her "new feelings" as soon as the summer vacation.
"Mom, I am so young and beautiful that I don’t need your introduction!" When I first heard the word "blind date" from my mother’s mouth, Zhao Qianqian refused.
"Young and beautiful, you need your mother to help you get through it, so as not to be cheated." In order to persuade her daughter to go on a blind date, the mother tried every means. When the summer internship is so busy, Zhao Qianqian has to work hard to cope with the "fancy blind date" every three to five.
On rainy days, she made the old habit of backache and wanted her mother to help her rub it, but her mother snorted and said that she was not available and asked her to "find someone herself" to help her rub it. Every weekend or holiday, my mother will definitely "spy on the military situation" and ask her how she plans to spend her life. Do you mind meeting some new friends? Later, my mother even used the goading method, saying that the object she introduced must be 10 times stronger than Zhao Qianqian’s ex-boyfriend. If you don’t believe me, she can go and see for herself.
No matter how hard her mother is, Zhao Qianqian instinctively rejects the practice of blind date. Destiny takes a hand, and natural fate is the way she always yearns for making friends. In her eyes, in the world of blind date, everything is based on material conditions, and she always feels that the feelings of blind date have an indescribable "impure purpose".
For this idea of hers, my mother called it naive. "The so-called destiny takes a hand, but when you go out to drink coffee, you accidentally meet the right taste, and the blind date is nothing more than bringing the coffee you need to go out to buy to the table to drink. This cup of coffee is still hand-picked and ground by my mother. As long as the result is the same, why care so much about the process? "
"I’m still so young, and I’m not an old girl. Is it so urgent?" She had to take a step back and use her age as a shield.
"Not small!" Mother improved her tone. "It’s not like asking you to get married right away. Just make more friends. Your little girl’s eyes on men are immature. You have to get in touch with some excellent men so that you won’t be cheated in the future."
Unlike Zhao Qianqian’s helplessness, Sun Ni, 20, was so angry that she almost ran away from home when she learned that her parents had arranged a blind date for her.
Sun Ni’s parents took a proactive approach. I thought it was an ordinary family dinner. When Sun Ni rushed to the hotel from school after class, she saw two families sitting at the dinner table. At that time, she felt stunned and surprised, and the feelings of being cheated and betrayed surged from the foot to the top of her head.
Because her parents are old, she has been under strict control since she was a child. From liberal arts in high school to volunteering in college, and now to blind date, her parents strongly control every pass in her life. "I feel that blind dates are attended by people with poor conditions who can’t find a date on their own. Why are they so anxious to arrange my blind date? Am I so bad in their eyes?" Sun Ni said with grievance.
Zhao Qianqian and Sun Ni are not the only college students who have been arranged for blind date before they leave school. Searching for the words "college students’ blind date" on social platforms such as Weibo, Douban and Tianya, we can find that many college students have told their experiences of being blind date, and there are many people in the comment area who are in the same boat. On Zhihu, there was a question about "What kind of experience is it for young people born in 1990s to be forced to get married", and more than 400 users answered it. Most of them were sharing their fears when their families forced them to arrange blind dates.
When "Campus Lori" meets "Uncle Success"
When my mother repeatedly nagged the blind date in Zhao Qianqian’s ear, "I graduated from a prestigious school and have several houses at home, it’s ‘ Split the second generation ’ And handsome, tall ",she finally let go and promised to meet the legendary" Gao Fushuai "during the summer vacation.
Zhao Qianqian admits that in the popular Mary Su Ju concentration, there is always a plot in which the heroine bows to the "overbearing president". A girl like her hasn’t left the society, and she hasn’t talked about love several times. She has some illusions about men who are well-qualified in other people’s mouths.
In the coffee shop where we met, the man was obviously prepared, wearing a shirt and trousers, and sitting in danger. Maybe he didn’t expect the woman to be so young. When he saw Zhao Qianqian coming in, he seemed to be taken aback, and then he looked at her from head to toe.
"That look, like some kind of unlovable animal, licked me from beginning to end with my tongue." Zhao Qianqian said that she had never seen such undisguised eyes from boys.
"Don’t you usually wear makeup, or are you in a hurry today?" After the blind date man asked, he also said that he likes girls to go out to make up and look mature.
"Oh. I don’t usually wear makeup, I don’t like maturity. "
Seeing Cece’s deliberate estrangement, the man was not discouraged, and then asked, "What major did you study? Accounting? Still a teacher? "
"I study journalism."
"A girl who studies journalism and becomes a reporter will have to run around and often stay up late in the future. How can she take care of her family?" The blind date man said bitterly to Sisi, "Can you change your major?"
"Oh, you don’t have to be a reporter to study journalism. Many graduates from their department go to be civil servants and enter enterprises." Cece’s mother quickly played the circus.
"Oh, that’s all right." The man took a sip of his drink and the atmosphere of the conversation solidified instantly.
"What do you like to do when you are resting?" In order to avoid embarrassment, Cece took the initiative to start a conversation.
"Swimming, playing tennis. What about you? " After listening to the man’s question, Zhao Qianqian paused, silently replacing the "the glory of the king (a game)" that she was about to blurt out with "surfing the Internet".
"Don’t surf the Internet too much, radiation causes cancer, which is not conducive to having children." The other party said sternly.
"Where is the difference of four years? It’s a century. I’m looking for a boyfriend, not a father. What’s the use of being rich and steady?" After returning home, Zhao Qianqian complained to her mother.
When chatting with several girlfriends in the class, Zhao Qianqian learned that around them, there are still many cases in which "campus loli" has failed to meet a wonderful "uncle success". The main reason is that "the three views are different and it is difficult to communicate".
"The differences in attitudes towards blind date have already reflected the different concepts of both sides. The other side is bent on getting married, and most of us are driven to the shelves." Zhao Qianqian said that college students are generally thin-skinned and have illusions about love, which is "congenital eight-character incompatibility" with blind date occasions. Moreover, even if the classmates around them look at each other right when they have a blind date, they will soon feel the gap between campus people and social people in the process of communication: not only are the topics of concern different, but even their status is unequal — — Girls always seem to be given the humble one, and few can make their feelings into positive results.
Will parents push you to the blind date market when you are physically mature?
"University to fall in love, graduation to get married. Parents are metaphors, and relatives are reminders. Who stipulated what people should do when? " Zhou Hong, a female college student in Nanning, obviously has her own opinion about the fact that college students are blind date.
However, Zhou Hong’s mother repeatedly explained to her earnestly: "I am not in a hurry to marry you. I am worried that when you go to college, you won’t pick or choose, and your mother will introduce you to your colleague’s son, at least knowing the roots. "
To this end, my mother often taunts Zhou Hong’s ex-boyfriend in high school with her poor eyesight: "What’s the use of playing basketball well, with poor grades and a single parent at home?" Didn’t you regret it later? "
These words made Zhou Hong feel as if her mother had never been young. The impulse of youth and the beauty of first love became worthless in her mouth, leaving only utilitarian calculations. She later understood that her mother was in such a hurry to introduce her to her because she wanted to intervene in advance before she found someone herself.
Since Zhou Hong went to college, her mother has confidently intervened in her love life on the grounds of helping to check the customs. She was also given three no-go principles for falling in love: no looking for someone from other places, no looking for someone with no stable income at home, and no looking for a single-parent family.
"Find a fellow countryman, not only know the roots, but also take care of what happened at home in the future." My mother kept instilling her own views on marriage into Zhou Hong. "In China, getting married is never just a matter for two people. My mother doesn’t expect you to marry into a rich family, but at least find someone with the same economic conditions as her family. If you don’t marry well, your parents can’t count on you to support the elderly, and our family has to keep posting to the man’s family. Then you will know that you will regret it. "
Zhou Hong’s relatives and friends have many unmarried women who are over 30 years old. Every time she visits relatives and friends to mention this topic, it will aggravate her mother’s anxiety and make her launch a round of blind date offensive to Zhou Hong more crazily. Her theory is that girls, no matter how good-looking and capable they are, will begin to lose the market after the age of 25. "It is said that there are more men than women now, but how many men are left with good families, good jobs and good people?"
From what milk powder to what kind of kindergarten to go to; From what special classes to what kind of class teacher to choose; From what brand of clothes to what kind of object to look for … … Zhou Hong felt that her mother was caring more and more for her. However, the growing environment and education level of the two generations have led to a growing psychological gap between her and her mother.
"Why didn’t I hear that boys were urged to get married in college, but girls were pushed to the blind date market by their parents?" Zhou Hong complained that the only capital that girls can rely on in the marriage and love market is really just being young and beautiful? This is not the standard for everyone to look at boys, at least depending on his career and personality, while looking at girls only depends on some materialized external conditions. "This is not discrimination against women, what is it?"
(In order to protect privacy, college students in this article are pseudonyms.)
